Monday, July 31, 2006

Romney's Niggardly Fox Paws

If you'd read the story, you'd know a tar baby
is a fictional baby made out of  sticky tar
to teach a rabbit a lesson.
Only a racist would think tar has anything to do with humans.
The commonwealth of Massachusetts, has engaged in niggardly budgeting practices that left pieces of highway falling on the heads of local commuters. When Mitt Romney, the very white governor, commented that the circumstances forced him to take drastic action, though he'd prefer to wash his hands of this tar baby, the neobigots at the Associated Press tarred him with the brush of racism.

So let's call a spade a spade: If a man lives a life where he never encounters racism, it may never occur to him that a picnic with watermelon and fried chicken is the modern equivalent of a lynching. To those of us who consider that all mankind shares the same spiritual DNA, and that race is an antiquated social construct, the blowback is puzzling. It's no longer honorable to be blind to race, or even to refuse to be racist. Neobigots -- those who benefit financially from raising up the dark spectre of racism -- now expect everyone to learn how bigots speak in order to avoid using words that sound vaguely like something in their English-to-Racist lexicon. 

So study up, boys and girls. Fill your head with racial slurs, so that you never inadvertently use a word that sounds something LIKE a racial slur. (It's sort of like learning German in order to avoid accidentally sounding like a fascist, or learning Arabic so that you don't sound like a terrorist. Because that's not racist at all.)

What a bunch of boobs. We like a robust debate, but this one just titillates. Damgummit. Now we're sexists.

-- The Practical Mormon

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