Monday, July 31, 2006

Romney's Niggardly Fox Paws

'Tar Baby': Not Racist When Liberals Say It.Mitt Romney, the crisco gweilo governor of Massachusetts, has engaged in niggardly budgeting practices that left pieces of highway falling on the heads of local commuters. But when he said he was forced by the circumstances to take drastic action, even though he'd prefer to wash his hands of this tar baby, the neobigots at the Associated Press tarred him with the brush of racism.

But let's call a spade a spade: If you live a life where nobody ever makes racist references, it may never occur to you that a picnic with watermelon and fried chicken is the modern equivalent of a lynching. Those of us who consider that all mankind shares our spiritual DNA, and that race is an antiquated social construct, can never catch a break. It's not enough to be blind to race, or even to refuse to be racist. The neobigots -- those who benefit financially from raising up the dark spectre of racism -- now expect you to learn the language of bigotry so that you can avoid using words that sound vaguely like something in their English-to-Racist lexicon. 

So study up, boys and girls. Fill your head with racial slurs, so that you never inadvertently use a word that sounds something LIKE a racial slur. (It's sort of like learning German so that you never accidentally sound like a fascist, or learning Arabic so that you don't sound like a terrorist. Oops. There we go again.)

What a bunch of boobs. We like a robust debate, but this one just titillates. Damgummit. Now we're sexists.

-- The Practical Mormon

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